Job Loss Brings Emotional Fallout
A lot has been written about how the displaced worker can find the next job, but we don’t see much about how to handle the emotional fallout of job loss. It is a large issue and it directly affects success in job search. Let’s be clear: We are not talking about clinical depression or anything close to it, nor are we giving advice in this arena. That is for the mental health professionals.
What we are talking about here is the predictable cycle of reactions that most of us who have experienced job loss have encountered once someone told us that our job is gone: shock, denial, anger, fear, a retreat from reality. Eventually we get to acceptance and gain traction in the search process. It is important to know, though, that this is not always a linear progression. We might be at acceptance only to slip back to fear or anger or both. A good first step may be to simply acknowledge our feelings.
Because at least half of all jobs today are found through networking, it is crucial that seekers get as comfortable as possible talking about their availability, and talking the right language as they do so.
I don’t want my clients to say “I lost my job.” Rather, the statement might be “my job was eliminated” or “my organization was forced to retrench and good people had to go.” Closely associated with that explanation is a very positive declaration “and these are the skills I can apply, and I’m eager to get going.” Ditch the hangdog; demonstrate the upbeat.
Too often, especially in the early stages of search, the embarrassment factor makes it difficult for some to approach others for advice, to say nothing of being able to place value on their skills or make their availability known. They retreat and circle the wagons when they should be sending the scouts out on their ponies.
Experienced outplacement professionals recognize that a lot of emotional energy is spent pondering “Why me?” That’s understandable, but it is an emotional state that has to be passed before effective search can begin. I would like to know who stole my first bike, from in front of the church no less, but I’ve stopped wondering. For a lot of reasons, both good and bad, rarely will anyone give you all the rationale. That does not mean you shouldn’t reflect on your past performance, your work habits and your ability to relate to others. Reflect, resolve and get on with the search. You will have an opportunity to ratchet your performance to an even higher level at your next position.
Some seekers get dragged back closer to the swamp by well-meaning former co-workers. They will tell you that they can’t believe what happened to you and what a huge mistake it was to eliminate your position. Don’t get caught up in this. It will only delay your progress. Appreciate your friends’ comments, but realize the fiscal responsibility wasn’t theirs. The decision wasn’t theirs.
Their concern for you is genuine, but they aren’t going to tell you that, good as you are, it was a wise business decision to cut your department of your product or your service.
Understand, too, that those who love you can unwittingly roil your emotions. They may want you to apply for what-ever job is open, not realizing what bad career choices some of those may be.
A lot of job search is deliberate, measured effort and time consuming. When I hear a client say “I’m sending out resumes,” I hear a code that means “I’m engaged in a relatively painless exercise with miniscule rate of return.” If you have outplacement help, or help from an experienced and trusted friend who has been through the process, follow your plan and be patient with loved ones. They have their own emotional cycle to contend with, including fear and anger.
You will land. When it comes to inserting yourself in your new organization, have a plan. Build alliances from day one. Listen well. Seek a mentor, even an informal one. Be a good teammate. Focus on the positive. Refrain from criticizing your old organization, even if it deserves it. Effective job search and successful transition require that you pay attention to the emotions involved.